I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
