I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
