I looked at my own cervix.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
