That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
