Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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