ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
