guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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