Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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