no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
