Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
