I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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