I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
