Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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