We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
