ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
