I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
