just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
