Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
