Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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