Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
