That's intense
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
