I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Randomize