This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
