I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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