she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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