wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
