yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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