right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
