just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
