he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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