My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
