Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
