She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
