Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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