I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
