yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Alive.
So much puke
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
