If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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