My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
