You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
