i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He passed out mid-signature
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
