That's intense
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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