Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
