I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize