I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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