Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize