no, he came in my armpit
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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