Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
