That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You took a bar mat shot.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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