I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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