There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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