Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
