We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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