Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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