can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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