very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
